I find myself confused these days because of all the allegations in the news of sexual harassment. I'm almost afraid to express my opinion on the subject.
It's no secret that a man has to walk a fine line in the workplace. This has been the case for a couple decades, at least.
With fondness, I remember when a woman in the office -- right in the middle of the workplace -- pulled her blouse up to her armpits for me. To say I was shocked is an understatement. As I whipped my head around to see if anyone had been watching, I realized that apparently she had already done so. I guess, with the advent of cubicles, people could easily be shielded from much of what goes on in the office.
And there was the time at the tennis courts when, as I climbed the stairs to the pro's office, a lady player said to me, "Nice legs." I was pleasantly surprised. But, really, I thought nothing of it. Now that I think about it, she may have been eyeing a different part of my anatomy. Tennis shorts were, well, short back then. And, I guess some would say, quite revealing.
Harassment? I don't think so. There was no touching, true. But sexually charged for sure.
But there was also the time, now so very vague, when I must have complimented a female office worker on her appearance. I am certain I said nothing untoward. Perhaps a word about a nice dress or her looking particularly nice that day. It wasn't until hours later that I realized I had made a grave mistake, and that my comments could be misinterpreted as "suggestive" or even "harassment." I anguished over what I had done and apologized to her in private the next day.
I get what groping is. I am quite sure it is the inappropriate and often rough and forceful handling of another's sexual anatomy. To be specific, I believe that anatomy to be breasts and crotch area for women. I had never had to think about how that might apply to men, but I would assume that also meant the crotch area.
Here's the thing. The genitals and female breasts are "sexual organs," aren't they? I mean, they do have erectile tissue. They do respond to sexual stimulation. What I'm having trouble with is the butt. The buttocks. One's ass.
I was reminded that one's appreciation for various parts of the body is a strictly personal thing. Certain segments of the population have an affinity for the posterior. (I'm having disturbing flashes of Kim Kardashian, who's stern requires emergency flashers.)
I can see how "cupping" or "grabbing" anyone's butt would be harassment. Really I do. But the butt is not some sexual appendage -- no matter how much today's popular culture would make it out to be. In point: "Baby's got back." "Shake your booty." However, I have a tendency to think that one's behind has become de-sexualized. Just go to the beach. Men and women both bare their derriere without a thought. If it's out there for all the world to see, how is it any different than a shoulder, an elbow or knee? You can "sexualize" these appendages if you want. But I would not.
I am appalled by the number of females coming forward and complaining that men have "touched" their butt. Hey, lady. It's your butt. Nothing more, nothing less. The touch may or may not have been inappropriate, yeah. But a touch is not harassment. I hate to see someone's life shattered because of an "innocent" touch. If, however, the intent was to push on, to "test the waters" or -- worst of all -- begin applying leverage to gain sexual favors, I have a big problem with that.
Now, I'm in no way advocating that all of a sudden it become socially acceptable to touch another person's ass. Football and other sports butt-patting aside, it's just an area of the human body that is normally kept out of sight and rightfully ascribed to as "private parts." But it does not fall into the category of "sexual." It is neither used for procreation nor is it a specialized organ for the nourishment of an infant. In terms of output, when compared to the genitals or breasts, the buttocks is pretty disgusting.
So, I'd like to see "sexualization" of the butt stopped. And maybe we can go back to when I was a kid and one's ass was nothing more than the butt of a joke.
